Summer of Changes

1 09 2017

This summer, of the year 2017, has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride, and I’m still reeling from it, recovering from it.

In May, I lost my beloved cat to cancer. He’d been with me for five years at that point and was only a few months shy of turning thirteen. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I miss him so very much. At the same time, I was blown away by the kindness of strangers when I put up a GoFundMe campaign to cover the vet bills. One person donated over 3000 Danish Kroner. That is a lot of money to give a stranger and I’m still trying to find a way to pay that kindness forward, but I will never forget this person, or any of the others who donated to the campaign. It really helped me a lot at the time, and still gets me through the bad days.

Then, at the end of May, I received an offer of a new flat, at a place where I’ve been on a wait list for about a year and a half. I’d already turned down one offer that had come the day after Charlie Cat died, at which point I had no desire for any more changes. But I’ve been ready to move for a long time, and after seeing the flat, I decided to accept the offer, and on June 16th, I moved in.

Moving is hard. It’s one of the hardest things to do in my experience. Even when you hire movers to carry all your junk, it’s hard. And while I’ve had some fantastic help from my best friend, I’m not quite settled yet. While the blackout curtains are up in the bedroom (I can’t sleep without them, and the windows here are HUGE!), I still have no curtains up in the living room. I wanted to make them myself, but I think a trip to IKEA will be in order very soon. The sun is getting lower in the sky, and can be quite blinding in the afternoon.

But I love it here. This place feels more like home already than the place I lived before, where I spent nearly twelve years agonising over keeping a garden I absolutely hated. Gardens are overrated. At least for me, who can kill a cactus with no problems at all. I’m so very happy to have that burden off my back, and now I’ve traded in that nightmare for a huge balcony with window boxes, that need little to no maintenance.

And here. Look at this view!

01

I will never get tied of that view, I swear. It changes every day, with the weather and the pattern of the clouds. I feel incredibly fortunate that I found this place.

Fast forward to August. And this is where it becomes difficult for me to write about it. See, the thing is I’ve always had poor teeth. Really poor teeth. I think it’s partly genetic, partly due to me being terrible at brushing and flossing. But long story short, by the time I was in my mid-thirties, if my teeth weren’t filled with filling, they were broken and rotten. Quite literally. And that’s embarrassing at best, not to mention terrible for one’s physical health.

In the end, it was a social worker who convinced me to begin the process of getting dentures. I can’t explain why others, including my best friend, weren’t able to do this, or why I responded to this one guy, but that’s how it happened. And on August 21st, I had the last of my teeth out (apart from my six bottom front teeth, which are amazingly in decent health) and on the same day I got my dentures.

It’s been a tough few weeks since then. My gums are sore, and wearing the dentures is incredibly uncomfortable, something that I expect will take me a long time to get used to.

But I can smile again. Even if that will also be something that I need to get used to. At some point, I’ll be able to eat properly again. I haven’t yet eaten with the dentures in, instead opting for soft and/or liquid food that doesn’t need much chewing. I will have to practise eating with them in.

It’s going to be a long process. I look forward to the day when wearing these dentures don’t bother me any more, and I can speak properly with them in. That day is not today. Today I have a massive cold, and my teeth are soaking in a plastic jar in the bathroom, because honestly… dentures and snot don’t mix.

And that’s the update on the Summer of 2017. It’s been a wild ride, and it’s not quite over yet. But I’m hoping that it will all end well.

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Welcome 2017!

1 01 2017

I have to say, I’m more optimistic about starting a new year than I normally am. New Year’s is really just an arbitrary point in time that shouldn’t have anything to do with changes in your life or making new beginnings and for the past many years, I’ve avoided making resolutions because I’ve never felt I could actually act on them.

This year is a little different. I have plans. I have ideas. I have something to actually act on. Because I have a story that I’m love with and that I want to finish and put out in the world for other people to read.

So that’s my goal for 2017. To first rewrite Wildfire, then revise it and edit it and figure out how to self publish it.

I’ve gone so far as to have chosen a pen name, even. And today I went ahead and set up a new Facebook account for my alter ego. Once I’ve put the finishing touches on it, I’ll put up a link for it, but for the time being I want to just keep it to myself.

But yes, I’m excited for this and that is an entirely new feeling for me. And even if the whole rewriting, revising and editing thing is scary as hell, I’m still looking forward to it!

Bring it on! At just short of 41 years of age, I’m finally ready to make this dream of being a published author come true.





Goodbye and Good Riddance, 2016

31 12 2016

2016 was a miserable year, I think most of us can agree on that. But I think that rather than delve on all the misery that happen both in my personal life and with all the crap that happened around the world and the far too many of my idols and heroes who died, I want to focus this post on the few good things that also happened.

Despite the awful event (my best friend had an aneurysm, but survived and is much better today) that led to me cat-sitting for almost six months, it was really wonderful to experience life with two cats in the house. I could get used to that kind of life, the playing and the company, but sadly I’m only allowed one cat where I life and now Malik (my friend’s cat) has been adopted by another family. But it was good and I do miss the silly bugger.

In September, the same friend and I went on our first holiday together to Fanø to attend a Knitting Festival. We learned some important lessons on that trip, but overall, it was a wonderful experience and one that we will almost certainly try to repeat with better results now that we know the do’s and don’ts of travelling together.

Also in September, a very good online friend of mine was kind enough to chip in half the money to purchase a copy of a video editing software, so I could begin making fan videos, and though I’ve so far only completed one fanvid and a promovid for an RPG I play on, I am eternally grateful for that gift.

Come November, I participated in NaNoWriMo as usual (see post below this one) and though not everything went as planned, it’s possibly one of the most satisfactory NaNo’s I’ve completed, coming out with at least two stories that I would like to work on further (more on that in a later post).

And here in December, against all odds, I found some Christmas spirit, decorated for the holidays and spent Christmas Eve with my best friend.

I’ve been to the cinema more often this year than any other year since I began suffering from anxiety in my early twenties, and with the cinema buddy I’ve made, I’ve also been to a boardgame café a couple of times, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed.

Other things have happened on the unemployment front. I’m still unemployed, yes, and probably will always be unemployable, but I’ve had some ‘work experience’ at a place called Centre for Danish Jazz History, where I do the kind of work I moved to Aalborg to study for, which is cataloguing and registering records.

So yes, though 2016 has been a shitty and awful year in large parts, good things have happened and I just wanted to share a few of them with you.

Still… as the headline says: Goodbye and Good Riddance, 2016.

And here’s to a Happy 2017!

 





(Inter)National Coming Out Day

11 10 2016

 

aalborgpride

Since I’m in Denmark, calling it National Coming Out Day doesn’t really fit, so you get (Inter)National Coming Out Day from me.

So, where to start? What label do I put on myself in these times of so many different labels when it comes to sexuality (or lack thereof)?

As a child (way back in the late 70s/early-mid 80s), I never gave sex or sexuality much thought even though sex-ed is something that is (was?) taught in school starting in the 5th or 6th grade when I was eleven or twelve years old.

About the time I hit puberty, I guess. But still, sex wasn’t something I thought about in the sense that I wanted to try it myself. Well, not entirely true that. There was a rather infamous television channel here called Kanal København (Channel Copenhagen), that aired unscrambled hardcore porn after midnight. I watched that. And experimented with masturbation. I liked that. Still do.

But actual sex, with an actual different person. No. As the years went by that lust never appeared. Not at sixteen (which from some quick and dirty research is the average sexual debut here in Denmark), not at eighteen or twenty or twenty-five. Now, at forty, I still don’t feel that need for sex with another person.

For a long time I thought it was just me being insecure, feeling unattractive, being shy or an introvert. All those things that could easily explain the reasons why I had no desire to jump into bed with someone. Back then, there was no Internet to answer those questions and me being me, I never tried to find the answers by asking others.

I was probably in my mid-twenties before I knew there was a thing called asexuality. Even then, I wasn’t sure it was a label that fit me. Because, let’s face it, I had crushes, I fell in love with people and I could definitely see what was attractive in certain people. So for a while, I identified as bisexual. But still never felt the need for sex or even to have the company of another human being in my life (that’s possibly a whole different story, though it might be connected and intertwined with everything else, but it would need a post for itself, I think).

So here I am, trying to find a label for myself on Coming Out Day. The closest I’ve come so far is BiRomantic Ace and Genderfluid. But that’s a hell of a mouthful and too much to explain to most people IRL, so usually I just go with Ace, or better yet, Queer and really only when people ask.

So. Happy Coming Out Day, everyone!





New Blog Title

5 08 2016

Since this blog really isn’t all that much about my personal experiences and never really got there, the name of the blog is now ‘Adventures in Writing’, which better reflects what it’s all about: posting my answers to Chuck Wendig’s flash fiction challenges and maybe the occasional short story of my own inspiration.

At least this way, I won’t feel shitty about not putting up the more personal content that I meant to do when I started it.





Reboot

2 01 2013

Hello again, blog!

Yes, I’m still here, alive and well. It’s a new year and so, as usual, I attempt to revive this blog with a New Year post of sorts. It’s also about a year ago that I started this blog and in that time I’ve made some thirteen posts, most of which have been flash fiction challenges set by Chuck Wendig of Terribleminds.com.

Anyway, in that year, there have been changes, some of them even corresponding to the plans (“resolutions”) I made in the very first post on this blog, exactly one year ago today. I’ve started exercising. Sure there was a break over the holidays (due to a toothache rather than any celebrations) and so far I haven’t lost much weight at all. I’ve made tiny steps into getting more healthy in the food department as well and am cooking a little now (rather than heating food in the microwave or oven), which is something I never did before. Still not as much as I’d like to, but it’s a start.

As for my flat, it’s all sorted out. All the mess is gone and I have new furniture (a sofa and more bookshelves) and got rid of other pieces of furniture that was just cluttering the place. My closet has been cleaned out as well and a lot of clothes were tossed out or donated. Could still pare that down more, I think, as I don’t really care about having a lot of clothes.

Getting up early is a big fat failure, more or less. I’m an extremely nocturnal creature and I do not appreciate being up before noon-ish. It not only kills my mood, it kills my very nocturnal muse as well and just makes me miserable. In that regard, I’ve come to the conclusion that as long as I’m unemployed (and more or less unemployable) there’s no reason to kill myself by getting up early.

Writing. Oh, writing! Well, I’m writing, but it’s for online roleplaying games and my own stories. And as evident by this blog, I haven’t done much of this blogging thing either. But I write pretty much every day, getting words out of my brain and into cyberspace where they are (I like to believe) appreciated by other people who share the same passion. And that makes me feel pretty good.

I was right, though. I said 2012 was going to be a good year and it was. It was the beginning of a new and better life for me and for that I am deeply grateful to those around me who have helped me in that endeavour and who keep helping. I could never have done this without you!

So, plans for 2013 are pretty much the same. Continue with the lifestyle change (it’s a bloody slow process, but the only way to go for me!) and get back to the gym at least three times a week, expand my cooking skills beyond pasta and omelets, and keep on writing both for my lovely roleplaying games but also get back into doing those flash fiction challenges and maybe, just maybe write a couple of short stories of my very own.

And that’s that: keep on keepin’ on. 😀





Meet Charlie

30 03 2012

 

This is Charlie. He moved in with me today. Someone on Facebook asked me whether I adopted him or he adopted me. I’m still not quite sure about the answer to that one, although I did get him from a friend. The first few hours, he was very uncertain about the whole thing and hid under the sofa, but after I’d taken a nap (no cats allowed in the bedroom!), he seemed to have accepted this turn of events and decided that I’m pretty good at giving scritches. And also that my blanket is apparently very good at digging his claws into.

And yes, his name is the same as mine. Sure I could change it, but he’s 5-6 years old and imho, Charlie is a perfectly good name, so I see no need to give him a new name.

Oh, and look! New cat-egory! (har har)