Summer of Changes

1 09 2017

This summer, of the year 2017, has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride, and I’m still reeling from it, recovering from it.

In May, I lost my beloved cat to cancer. He’d been with me for five years at that point and was only a few months shy of turning thirteen. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I miss him so very much. At the same time, I was blown away by the kindness of strangers when I put up a GoFundMe campaign to cover the vet bills. One person donated over 3000 Danish Kroner. That is a lot of money to give a stranger and I’m still trying to find a way to pay that kindness forward, but I will never forget this person, or any of the others who donated to the campaign. It really helped me a lot at the time, and still gets me through the bad days.

Then, at the end of May, I received an offer of a new flat, at a place where I’ve been on a wait list for about a year and a half. I’d already turned down one offer that had come the day after Charlie Cat died, at which point I had no desire for any more changes. But I’ve been ready to move for a long time, and after seeing the flat, I decided to accept the offer, and on June 16th, I moved in.

Moving is hard. It’s one of the hardest things to do in my experience. Even when you hire movers to carry all your junk, it’s hard. And while I’ve had some fantastic help from my best friend, I’m not quite settled yet. While the blackout curtains are up in the bedroom (I can’t sleep without them, and the windows here are HUGE!), I still have no curtains up in the living room. I wanted to make them myself, but I think a trip to IKEA will be in order very soon. The sun is getting lower in the sky, and can be quite blinding in the afternoon.

But I love it here. This place feels more like home already than the place I lived before, where I spent nearly twelve years agonising over keeping a garden I absolutely hated. Gardens are overrated. At least for me, who can kill a cactus with no problems at all. I’m so very happy to have that burden off my back, and now I’ve traded in that nightmare for a huge balcony with window boxes, that need little to no maintenance.

And here. Look at this view!

01

I will never get tied of that view, I swear. It changes every day, with the weather and the pattern of the clouds. I feel incredibly fortunate that I found this place.

Fast forward to August. And this is where it becomes difficult for me to write about it. See, the thing is I’ve always had poor teeth. Really poor teeth. I think it’s partly genetic, partly due to me being terrible at brushing and flossing. But long story short, by the time I was in my mid-thirties, if my teeth weren’t filled with filling, they were broken and rotten. Quite literally. And that’s embarrassing at best, not to mention terrible for one’s physical health.

In the end, it was a social worker who convinced me to begin the process of getting dentures. I can’t explain why others, including my best friend, weren’t able to do this, or why I responded to this one guy, but that’s how it happened. And on August 21st, I had the last of my teeth out (apart from my six bottom front teeth, which are amazingly in decent health) and on the same day I got my dentures.

It’s been a tough few weeks since then. My gums are sore, and wearing the dentures is incredibly uncomfortable, something that I expect will take me a long time to get used to.

But I can smile again. Even if that will also be something that I need to get used to. At some point, I’ll be able to eat properly again. I haven’t yet eaten with the dentures in, instead opting for soft and/or liquid food that doesn’t need much chewing. I will have to practise eating with them in.

It’s going to be a long process. I look forward to the day when wearing these dentures don’t bother me any more, and I can speak properly with them in. That day is not today. Today I have a massive cold, and my teeth are soaking in a plastic jar in the bathroom, because honestly… dentures and snot don’t mix.

And that’s the update on the Summer of 2017. It’s been a wild ride, and it’s not quite over yet. But I’m hoping that it will all end well.

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Welcome 2017!

1 01 2017

I have to say, I’m more optimistic about starting a new year than I normally am. New Year’s is really just an arbitrary point in time that shouldn’t have anything to do with changes in your life or making new beginnings and for the past many years, I’ve avoided making resolutions because I’ve never felt I could actually act on them.

This year is a little different. I have plans. I have ideas. I have something to actually act on. Because I have a story that I’m love with and that I want to finish and put out in the world for other people to read.

So that’s my goal for 2017. To first rewrite Wildfire, then revise it and edit it and figure out how to self publish it.

I’ve gone so far as to have chosen a pen name, even. And today I went ahead and set up a new Facebook account for my alter ego. Once I’ve put the finishing touches on it, I’ll put up a link for it, but for the time being I want to just keep it to myself.

But yes, I’m excited for this and that is an entirely new feeling for me. And even if the whole rewriting, revising and editing thing is scary as hell, I’m still looking forward to it!

Bring it on! At just short of 41 years of age, I’m finally ready to make this dream of being a published author come true.





Goodbye and Good Riddance, 2016

31 12 2016

2016 was a miserable year, I think most of us can agree on that. But I think that rather than delve on all the misery that happen both in my personal life and with all the crap that happened around the world and the far too many of my idols and heroes who died, I want to focus this post on the few good things that also happened.

Despite the awful event (my best friend had an aneurysm, but survived and is much better today) that led to me cat-sitting for almost six months, it was really wonderful to experience life with two cats in the house. I could get used to that kind of life, the playing and the company, but sadly I’m only allowed one cat where I life and now Malik (my friend’s cat) has been adopted by another family. But it was good and I do miss the silly bugger.

In September, the same friend and I went on our first holiday together to Fanø to attend a Knitting Festival. We learned some important lessons on that trip, but overall, it was a wonderful experience and one that we will almost certainly try to repeat with better results now that we know the do’s and don’ts of travelling together.

Also in September, a very good online friend of mine was kind enough to chip in half the money to purchase a copy of a video editing software, so I could begin making fan videos, and though I’ve so far only completed one fanvid and a promovid for an RPG I play on, I am eternally grateful for that gift.

Come November, I participated in NaNoWriMo as usual (see post below this one) and though not everything went as planned, it’s possibly one of the most satisfactory NaNo’s I’ve completed, coming out with at least two stories that I would like to work on further (more on that in a later post).

And here in December, against all odds, I found some Christmas spirit, decorated for the holidays and spent Christmas Eve with my best friend.

I’ve been to the cinema more often this year than any other year since I began suffering from anxiety in my early twenties, and with the cinema buddy I’ve made, I’ve also been to a boardgame café a couple of times, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed.

Other things have happened on the unemployment front. I’m still unemployed, yes, and probably will always be unemployable, but I’ve had some ‘work experience’ at a place called Centre for Danish Jazz History, where I do the kind of work I moved to Aalborg to study for, which is cataloguing and registering records.

So yes, though 2016 has been a shitty and awful year in large parts, good things have happened and I just wanted to share a few of them with you.

Still… as the headline says: Goodbye and Good Riddance, 2016.

And here’s to a Happy 2017!